Speeding

Pay special attention to the rule about motorcycles...

After a number of miles on the road during a high traffic time of year, I’ve come to the conclusion that some people need to go back to driving school. There aren’t very many places a person needs to get to that justify risking your life and those of others to get there quickly. Overall, my experience would be happier if ALL the other drivers would know how to drive properly.

**Don’t try to drive up my ass. I know it’s fine (see above), but I don’t want your Buick parked in it!
**On a 6-lane highway, slow traffic goes on the right, fast traffic goes in the middle, and passing traffic goes on the left. Don’t pass people on the right.
**Once you’ve passed someone, get back in the middle or right hand lane. It might feel like your road because you pay a lot of taxes, but guess what? I really think it’s MY ROAD, and I’m being generous enough to share it.
**Wear your seatbelt, ya Dipshit. Anyone who doesn’t … hmmm, I’m not even gonna bother with the stats. You’re just a Dipshit!
**Be careful around motorcycles. Those little guys don’t have a hell of a lot to protect them if your big ‘ol SUV slams into them. So far the trial airbag systems just shoot the drivers off the back and don’t really help a lot.
**Don’t throw cigarette butts out your window after you’ve just passed a motorcycle.
Respect truck drivers ! ! ! These people are doing their job. When you do dumb shit, you not only risk their lives; you fuck with their livelihood. Stay back far enough so you can see their mirrors … then they can see you. Don’t pull in front of them and slow down. It takes them a lot longer to slow down than a regular ‘ol car. In general, if it looks like they need some space, get outta their way.
**When someone is merging, move over … ya know, like when you’re merging and you need space. Merging can be fun, but only with willing partners.
**Inclined to get a bit of Road Rage? Here’s an idea: entice the other party to pull into a Highway Patrol Station. Once there, get out of your car and get into a screaming match until you get an officer’s attention. Then taunt the other person until they lose control and hit you. Then get back in your car with the satisfaction that they will be spending some time dealing with an assault charge.
**THINK about the fact that you’re in control of a really heavy object that’s moving at a very high speed … I’ll wait while you ponder that thought. Be careful.